Stories from middle America

I’ve carried a lot of my parents’ mindset about home decor into my own adulthood.

If I’m not replacing something that’s damaged or badly stained, the guilt is very real. But I already have this, even though I really don’t like it. But it still works, even though it’s kind of shabby looking. But his mom painted that, so I can’t paint over it.

Remember my guest room? A month ago, it still had my comforter set from college, my bedroom furniture I painted in high school, and a rather dreary rug I picked up on clearance at Nebraska Furniture Mart.

Fixing up that room for Air BnB has proven to be tougher and more emotional than I would have ever guessed. I’ve wanted to throw up my hands and say, “Screw this!” on several occasions. But two things have helped me put on my big girl pants and power through:

  1. The room doubles as my office. I’m in there between six and 10 hours a day, so I better damn well like it.
  2. Jessica took out a ton of the guess work for me. Having specifics spelled out for me eased a lot of my anxiety.
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Focus on what’s good

Instead of focusing on stuff that made me anxious (am I being wasteful? Is this frivolous? Why do I need things to be pretty, dammit?), it was encouraging to focus on the room’s good points. When I let myself come up for air, I found a few things that I loved about the room already:

  • Natural light. The guest room/office gets the best light in the house. It feels airy and peaceful all day long.
  • The wall color. A super pale olive that I love, the paint helps the room feel bigger than it is.
  • Neutral bedding.By the time Jessica peeked her head in, I had managed to say goodbye to my college comforter set. The new bedding doesn’t scream “Hello! I’m here!” when I’m in video meetings.
  • Heirloom Samsonite suitcases. They still have my great-uncle’s name and address in the tags, which I think is an awesome touch of the past.
  • A computer chair with personality. I found a pale, wooden computer chair on Craigslist and instantly gave away my huge black office chair.
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The trick was to let these elements shine through without detracting from the room’s dual purpose (guest room + office) and without massively redoing everything (not good for the bank account, not good for my mental well being).

Get rid of what’s holding you back

The trouble with holding onto things out of guilt is that it’s tough to view them objectively. It’s hard to curate a room when you’re seeing “she’d get mad” or “bad purchase” instead of simply “ugly rug” or “tiny lamp.” It helps to get feedback from someone who doesn’t see the extra baggage.

Jessica helped me pinpoint some specific things that were holding the room back from the peaceful, airy feeling I wanted:

  • The rug. The dark color sucked the life out of the room, and it was too large. It also didn’t vacuum well and had a contemporary, geometric pattern that didn’t mesh with the 1930s cottage thing.
  • The wall art. A couple pieces were too small for the wall space, and another piece had a dark, outdated matting and frame.
  • The pillows. Old and flat, they didn’t look welcoming at all.
  • The bedside lamp.Too small for the corner and kind of the same color as the wall, it got lost quickly.

Realize the power of tiny fixes

It’s all well and good to point out things that have to go in your life. I still needed some pointers to make sure I didn’t just fill the room back up with “this was on clearance” or “I have this thing in the attic.” After some gentle prodding from Jessica, here’s what I introduced back into the room:

  • A mirror. Larger than the previous wall art, the mirror is still simple and not so contemporary that it feels at odds in an 80-year-old house.
  • A new rug. This handwoven silk rug was definitely a splurge piece. It adds an awesome feeling of “This is my power office,” rather than “Here’s the random corner where I’m online all day.”
  • A larger lamp. I was afraid that a taller lamp would overpower the twin bed, but Jessica insisted I wouldn’t regret it. The large white shade pops nicely against the neutral green wall.
  • New pillows. A couple new shams and a large decorative throw pillow are making me side-eye my master bedroom now.
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There’s still more I could do, of course. Some 95-inch curtains wouldn’t go amiss, and I’d like to redo the matting and frame on that one art piece. The hub and router for the internet are still an unsightly mess of wires that I haven’t figured out yet.

But I already feel more relaxed walking in here every morning. I’d be proud to offer it to any guest. Guilt-free.

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